To party like Clo

(Written by one of our Guest Contributors)

This article started with the hopes that I could teach the world how to drink, and party, like Clo. After a bit of research that I have painstakingly taken on your behalf, I have consumed copious amounts of alcohol. After emptying my liquor cabinet many times and getting on a first name basis with the staff at three bars, and two liquor stores, (okay and a few cab drivers and cops,)  I have come to the conclusion that our buddy Clo must have two or more livers, is not human, or is the embodiment of John Blutarsky.

So we will just resort to telling you some things we have learned from Clo. To the Point...

• It is not Gay if you are at the lake and have to share the shower with a past or present member of the Dallas Cowboys. That is unless it is Rafael Septien.
• Painting your toe nails is cool as it will help you pick up chicks.
• If you end up at a party with girls from Southwest Airlines and you end up in a dress make sure you take a dump in the yard and have a cat to try to cover it, just in case your buddies find out you were in a dress, as this will distract them.
• If you get drunk and have a sudden urge to go to the lake that is two miles away expect your buddies to try and stop you. Throwing beer bottles and your sandals will discourage them in the end. Just keep in mind (when you sober up) they tried to help you.
• Learning to play the Star-Spangled Banner like Hendrix always looks cool, but even cooler if done on a boat after a few beers.
• It may be a good idea to have a GPS locator placed on you when you go out drinking in the big easy during Mardi Gras, just so your friends can find you.
• If you pass out in your hotel in Mexico, in front of your room door, with your key in hand, no one will try and wake you, move you, or rob you.
• Painting with dog doo is fun.
  
  

I do hope you have enjoyed this I will add more over time, as I am sure Clo is far from finished teaching us the fine ways of drunkenness. So go out drink, have fun and don’t be a dick.